Wednesday, 26 January 2011

The Aberdeengrad Factory, Part 3

Mortal enemies on the field of combat during the Second World War, once more the T-34 and Panzer IV shall do combat. Our brave workers shall take advantage of the recently constructed Tank Training Field and fight each other in mock combat. May the better team win! Do not fear for their safety - they are specially trained and, at any rate, are due to be flown back to Britain over the weekend to return to work on the TARDIS. Kan Konstructions is very particular at having a non-dead work force.

The tanks are placed in position on either side of the training course. The T-34 has the height advantage and rolls out quickly, seeking it's opponent. The Panzer crew, more cautious given their disadvantage, carefully work their way across the landscape, watching for any tell-tale signs of the Russian armoured vehicle.

Such a careful approach does not pay off, and it is the bold manoeuvring of the T-34 that allows them to spot their opponent first!

Excited, the T-34 quickly load the main turret, take careful aim and fire! The Panzer crew barely notice the enemy before it's too late, and have no time to brace themselves for impact.

But what's this? Luck? Superior armour? A poor shot? For whatever reason the Panzer simply shrugs off the blast, the shell ricocheting off the tank. The advantage suddenly shifts - the T-34 is exposed, the weak undercarriage an easy shot for the now prepared Panzer IV. The crew turn the turret, take aim, and fire.

It's a simple shot, and it's all that's needed to destroy the T-34. Though saddened at the defeat of his preferred tank, Great Leader Phil can't help but acknowl---

But wait?

What's happening? There's a fire breaking out on the T-34. The crew are abandoning the now burning vehicle. This shouldn't happen, there's nothing explosive in that tank - it's made of plastic and rubber, for goodness sake!

Greg! Greg get out of there, man! That thing's gonna go any second now!



Doctor's and nurses rush to the scene of the accident, bravely ignoring the burning wreck nearby. It's to no avail, however, Greg was dead the minute the tank exploded in a massive fireball. Despite my shock, I remain amazed at modern medicine and how accurately it can ascertain the cause of death in an accident.

There's little I can do but remember Greg, and as I close my eyes a slow-motion montage of my memories of him begins to play in my mind to some appropriate music. Probably Greenday's Time of Your Life. It's always Greenday's Time of Your Life.

Haha. Oh Greg, from the moment you were removed from your plastic fastenings, to your work on the Victory and the TARDIS, to that time you were consumed by a horrifying explosion. I will remember you.

I don't have a bible, so I go to the book I have probably read the most in my lifetime, and I turn to Chapter 10, Page 169, Paragraph 6:

There was a long silence. At last Frodo spoke with hesitation. 'I believed that you were a friend before the letter came,' he said, 'or at least I wished to. You have frightened me several times tonight, but never in the way that servants of the enemy would, or so I imagine. I think one of his spies would - well, seem fairer and feel fouler, if you understand.'

Words to ponder. Let us all think them and remember how they apply to Greg.


  1. Oh no, Poor Gerg. I have only known him for this one post, but I feel like we were good firends.

  2. I think a lot of people are probably feeling like that after reading this. It's like when your kettle dies and you realise what it meant to you, and all the great things it did its lifetime.



  4. Dammit Dargie, don't post stuff like that. What if my workers see that and start believing there's a better, more professional life for them out there? They might demand better bacon sandwich rations!

    (Good find ;))