Is That a Star Trek Thing? Part One

Two weeks ago Kan Konstructions received a contract offer from Senff Industries. Apparently one of their clients was looking to have a custom-designed YT-1300 freighter built for them and was having trouble finding a shipyard company willing to take on the task. Usually such starships are constructed by the Corellian Engineering Corporation, so Kan Konstructions contacted them in the hope we might uncover why they had refused this time. The reply:

“Bwahahahaaa, have you even seen the designs? It’s a deathtrap waiting to happen. There’s not even a proper cockpit, for pities sake! The company that builds that monstrosity will be sued into the ground.”

Thankfully Kan Konstructions has no established ethical principles on paper, and we’re sure no-one on the internet has ever been sued, so we accepted the contract.

Fortunately, Kan Konstructions has had experience in creating ships from various franchises, and in fact put on hold our current construction of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek, which is in no way symbolic.

At first I decided I would attempt to construct the ship myself. Now I’ve seen such constructions done “properly,” by “qualified engineers”, where they lay out all the pieces and tools in some sort of "ordered" manner, which they claim will make the process go more easily. I figured I could just get my own engineering qualification and be able to do this myself, but did you know it takes at least six months to become an engineer? I don’t have time for that! So I’m going to do it the way all “real” men do it.

Then I looked at the instructions. I had to find a small black, hingey-like hinge piece. Easy!

Nope.

Nope.

Definitely nope.

Alright, so bad idea. But I had a thought! Kan Konstructions used to have a workforce, a fine workforce, one that could construct incredible machines, or would if their leadership had any sense of commitment. But they were gone now, having departed to ventures new. Probably up a hoover. I’m still looking.

So I recruited a new work-force. They were mostly out of work right now, though a couple claimed they would have new jobs in a month or two, bless. Now, they might look a bit familiar to some, and I did have to check the rules on crossing franchises, but apparently on the internet anything goes, and it seems I should be encouraging them to have less clothes, but never mind that!

They were put to work immediately and, dare I say it, they were better than the previous workforce. I mean, look at this guy:

Alright, sure, I mean he was screaming something about how he had found the supreme piece of LEGO, and how all other pieces of LEGO should be exterminated as they were inferior, but I decided to let his anger issues slide because he had found the hingey piece!

And from that point there was no stopping them.

Within a few hours we had the…does a starship have a keel? Well we had the what-would-be-a-keel-on-a-regular-ship laid down. Actually, that could go to explain why we never did finish the HMS Victory - the model clearly starts with the hull of the ship, with nothing for that hull to attach to. Amateurish stuff - which for the clever minds at Kan Industries meant we got far too confused and had to play some video games a while to try and calm our confused minds. Yes, that’ll do.

So, Senff Industries, we have begun the contract assigned to us, and I am pleased to say it is well under way. I would go so far to say your client will have his custom YT-1300 within a week.

Eh…best make it two weeks. Y’know what we’re like. I’m not saying we’re easily distracted by things and may forget to provide you with regular reports, but that possibly we might be easily distracted by things and may forget to provide you with regular reports. Or…ooh! ooh! OR production might be affected by some nefarious creature with a desire to prevent this diabolical mashing of sci-fi franchises as it reads like some terrible, terrible, fan-fiction.

But what are the chances of that?

TO BE CONTINUED!

We’re all Stories in the End - Doctor Who Paintings (Season One)

Season One (1963 - 1964)

The Doctor: William Hartnell

I decided against putting up Doctor Who season-by-season reviews up. It goes against the nature of the blog, and I feel I rather shot myself in the foot by including links to two far more clever, more entertaining Doctor Who review sites. Andrew still gets stuck with being sent my reviews, however.

So instead I shall contribute to Doctor Who fandom by doing a lot of painting. In an effort to practice and improve my painting skills, I shall attempt to draw one image from every Doctor Who story created, an ambition slightly bettered by my attempt to watch every episode before the 23rd November this year.. The pictures can be a direct attempt at recreating a scene, to simply drawing something original that at least has some relevance to the story. The theory is I have a solid inspirational source, and each painting will help improve my skills.

For the first season I stuck with just calligraphy ink and water, with one exception. I feel it’s appropriate to the black and white episodes of Hartnell’s era, and it’s something I feel comfortable enough using.

001 - An Unearthly Child

I start by cheating. Twice. First because it’s a straightforward copy of my desktop wallpaper (which as I’ve used for so many years I cannot credit the original creator). Second because it fails to acknowledge the latter three episodes of the story (it is sometimes considered two separate stories - an Unearthly Child for the first episode and 100’000 BC for the other three).

The TARDIS trying its hardest to light the unknown was too fantastic an image not to try and copy, and is a nod of the hat to the mysterious opening scene of a police box in a junkyard.

002 - The Daleks

Daleks are bloody hard to get right (at this point a more petty man would make a snide comment about how awful the redesigned Daleks of Matt Smith’s era are, and wouldn’t you know it I just did that) and see below for some awkward tests on my part. This image was a pretty obvious one to do, though it paints the Doctor as far too much a hero. In the episode (and a lot of the early stories) he’s far more willing to bully or antagonise others to get what he wants. In this case it’s getting a race of avowed pacifists to commit genocide against the Daleks.

Which is actually pretty impressive, really.

003 - The Edge of Destruction

The TARDIS goes haywire and the crew begin blaming each other for the problem. Eventually all is resolved and everyone is friends from then on. Not much to draw other than an attempt to get the general sentiment across. It was quite a grim story, with the relationship between the Doctor and his companions very unfamiliar to someone like myself, who is only used to the revived series.

004 - Marco Polo

I gave myself a rule of never spending more than two days on each picture - the main idea is to try and be creative and improve my skills, and if I get stuck on a picture I’ll just get miserable and give up. This one broke the rule someone, as I spent ages trying to work out the various details. While it gives an impression of what I wanted, it’s not quite what I hoped for.

I’ll come back to it, and I think I’ll make the shaded borders in colour. Marco Polo is the first ‘recap’ story (audio-only, with still-footage to accompany it as a result of the BBC's policy on destroying original films) and it happened to come with colour photos of some beautiful sets and costumes. As it’s the only recap to have that joy, it’ll be nice to show some appreciation for it.

005 - The Keys of Marinus

A slightly difficult story to draw a single picture for, as it’s one that is essentially several stories mashed together with a common theme. Since that theme was the TARDIS crew being forced to collect important keys that can be used to activate a defensive device, I did a modification of the scene where they realise a shield has been placed around the ship to prevent their access. It’s one of those typical times I spend little time practicing a picture and coming out with something good, rather than my usual ‘lots of planning, rubbish result.’

006 - The Aztecs

And speaking of planning, this is a picture I did with pencil and a permanent ink pen to get some ideas on what to do for this story (I was having trouble picking something, see below). I liked it so much I decided not to risk painting it again as I knew I would prefer this picture anyway. I’ll use the fact it was only meant as practice to explain my sudden inability to utilise perspective. Yes, that’ll do.

007 - The Sensorites

The Sensorites, while a little average, deserves some credit for showing an alien race that isn’t just a violent soldier-race, with a leadership conflicted with what to do with the intruding humans. That said, the cliffhanger from the first episode, with a Sensorite looming at the space-window very memorable. This picture doesn’t quite get that across - he looks like a salesman leaning over and asking “Hellooooo, can I help you?”

It wasn’t the Doctor and his grand-daughter Susan at the final scene either, but as I don’t think I’ll get another chance to draw her (shouldn’t have bothered, mind, it’s a terrible likeness) I modified it a bit. The story did focus a bit more on their relationship, and really drew attention to why the show was incompatible with both characters as long as both travelled together (she wanted to be more independent, he wouldn’t let her. He wanted to travel the universe, but was too protective of her when approaching danger).

008 - The Reign of Terror

It is pointed out this is the Doctor’s favourite period of history. I found it amusing that for the rest of the story the crew are subjected to imprisonment, press-ganging, nearly burnt to death, wounded and, at one point, sentenced to death by guillotine. He never really seems to bring up his love for the period that much afterwards.

I like this picture for I like the way I’m drawing the characters (similar to ‘The Daleks’ and ‘Keys of Marinus’). I do need to learn how to shade the various elements properly though.

Test stuff!

Random doodles and playing-around-with-stuff-ness as I went along.

Focusing on the TARDIS for ‘An Unearthly Child’ was an early decision, it just took a while to work out how I wanted to do it. This was inspired by a scene of the TARDIS from the recent Christmas episode, and I fooled around in colour. In the end I realised I should stick with black and white, and the image needed to be used was literally right in front of me.

Test sketches for ‘The Daleks’, with added ink blotches as I used the paper for testing the brush when I painted the image proper. Recycling!

Two idea for ‘The Aztecs.’ The first one was a bust - it was supposed to be the main antagonist, but by cross-hatching the warpaint under his nose I kept being reminded of Stephen Fry’s General Melchett wearing a hair-net for his moustache and couldn’t stop giggling. I didn’t learn my lesson - a later cross-hatching attempt made it look like the Doctor was wearing stockings.

The second one felt a bit more right for the context of the episode. Barbara is mistaken for a god and, horrified at the sacrificial bloodshed and love of violence by the Aztec people, unsuccessfully tries to change their ways. At one point she and the Doctor get into an argument at her actions, with him claiming, “You can’t rewrite history. Not one line!” He is ultimately correct, as the Aztecs proclaim Barbara a false-god and drive them out. He never quite explains how he can’t interfere here, but could wipe out the Daleks four stories previously.

I abandoned it as I remembered a comment by a friend in which she complained about the pictures having no context. Which is perfectly true - this would be just two people looking at each other. I think it worked for Edge of Destruction, but here it’s too vague without their lines.

Included as I prefer this pencil sketch to the finished ones in ‘Sensorites.’ Susan still doesn’t look correct, though.

And that is all. To season two, which shall have cats, Daleks, Romans, butterflies and more Daleks...

Train Simulator 2013: Newcastle to York: Part Three

Disappointed and with little to do but reach York, I just push the throttle to full and wait until the alarm goes off. It’s not as if I’m in charge of this thing, is it?

But then:

Alright, it’s on a different track but it’s going the same way. It shall be overtaken!

I set throttle to…er, what it was. I double check there’s there’s no curves in the track that may derail me (of course there isn’t) and I just watch through the window.

Weeeeeeeee.

York itself is probably the most exciting part of the entire journey. I have to slow down (!) and ease the train in slowly. I can take my time as, well, I’m ten minutes early and I can imagine I’ve probably buggered up a lot of my passengers taxi plans.

On the bright side I see David Tennant dressed as the Doctor.

The train is halted, the passengers leave and I get a message congratulating me and telling me another driver will take over me and I should “take a well earnt break.” I suspect management are taking the piss.

Conclusion: This is dull. Incredibly dull. There’s no liking it ironically, there’s no liking it as a good game. I can’t even imagine liking it from the viewpoint of someone who enjoys model trainsets. It’s a rail-shooter without the shooting, and a simulation of pretty scenery without providing the prettiness. Go forwards. Or backwards. If you’re doing wrong then the game will stop you.

Train Simulator 2013: Newcastle to York: Part Two

With a shudder, the train lurches forward a little faster than it did before.

We’re doing 90 in a 60mph zone, and we have a nasty turn ahead. At least I assume it’s nasty - it’s the closest to a 90 degree angle we have to take in this journey, and there’s hardly any sense of speed in this game. I slow a little for the main turns, but throttle it for any other time. I am determined to catch up to this other train that is on my line.

We pass other trains. They toot their horn to warn me I might be going a bit too fast but I don’t care. I toot my own horn back. They don’t hear me, of course, I’m going far too fast. My passengers put up with it as best they can.

    Brave hearts.

We get close to Darlington. This is where we will catch up to the train that is on my track. I urge the engine to go a bit faster, to maybe surprise the enemy before we reach the station. And then something happens.

The master alarm goes off.

I assume it’s the master alarm. It’s bloody loud and it wont shut up until I press it. I’m not entirely sure what it signifies - we’re still on the rails and going only slightly above the speed limit, so nothing is wrong on my end.

And then suddenly the train stops. Brakes to full, engine off. The MAN has overridden my train and taken control. I am forced to a halt outside Darlington just to let this bastard on my line park properly.

I am later granted control of my own engine and allowed to crawl through Darlington. I pass the train I was chasing. I’m sure I catch a glimpse of the driver chuckling at me.

I am granted one pleasure though. I notice a passing train has its lights on and I decide I shall activate my own. I am apparently allowed to choose between standard lighting and red lamps. Naturally I choose the latter.

We’re coming for you, York.

Train Simulator 2013: Newcastle to York: Part One

We depart Newcastle.

Beautiful. Really takes me back. To about 1998 graphics. I realise there’s a lot to do model-wise, but I am literally on a rail! You don’t have to worry about the player derailing the train and using it to travel to the west coast. Make things look pretty!

Given the dull, blocky greyness of it all, I’m more surprised than ever Aberdeen isn’t in it. I put on some music for the passengers, even though that doesn't happen on trains. It's my bloody train!

I have the throttle at full and we’re charging through the countryside at 55 miles per hour! I’m so excited I stick my head out the window!

From now on I keep my limbs firmly inside the vehicle and wonder why on earth that camera angle is featured in the game.

For a while I enjoy the countryside as best as I can before getting bored. I check my objectives (reach York) and wonder when it is when I’m supposed to get there. My ETA says 18:43 (about an hour away) but I know I’m running late. I’m in a 55 mph zone, but then who could regulate me? I’m the only driver in this beast, I have no copilot. I could…I could push the throttle a bit further forward, couldn’t I.

I put it to 100%. When this baby hits 88 miles per hour you’re gonna see some…

And then I hit a zone where the limit is 125 mph. It’s like they knew I was going to do this : (

[007]
And then I enter the set of Coronation Street.

I’m dreadfully bored, and I’m only twenty minutes into this ninety-minute adventure. The trees are bland, the scenery very English. There are some nice bridges, I suppose. I pass a couple stations - I really hope I wasn’t supposed to stop at any of them.

I check the route map, and it’s there I notice something. There is another train on the track. Many, many miles ahead of me, but it’s on the same track and heading south.

I don’t know how, I’m not sure if I can, but by heavens I am catching up to that train and overtaking it. On a rail or not!

Train Simulator 2013: Newcastle to York: Introduction

For about a decade I mocked this game.

Frankly, I believe deservedly so. Other simulators give you a degree of freedom: even Microsoft Flight Simulator, which could be pretty unforgiving, allowed you to laugh maniacally as you decided, mid-flight, to take your London-destined passengers on a trip to Paris. You monster. Here, however, you are in a train. You are literally on a rail. There is no changing course: at worst you can annoy your passengers by stopping the train. At least until you remember this is the rail service and your passengers expect this to happen at least once per journey.

But I shall mock no more! Not until have experienced the ‘game’ itself in-person. My dream was always to recreate the eight-hour Aberdeen-London journey in real-time. Apparently that was too much for this simulator, so for now I have to take charge of a small part of the route - Newcastle to York - in a train already delayed. So it’s got that part of the UK rail service simulated.

This is my train. There are many others like it but this one is mine.

I’m just outside Newcastle station. The light is red but I’m ready to go. I’d like to think this is just what it’s like to be a jockey atop the fastest race-horse just before the gates open. The train is alive. I can almost feel the vibration of the engines, the touch of the control panel, the smell of the sandwich the last driver left behind…

The light turns to yellow. I’m ready for this. Just turn green and I will blast this engine into the heart of Newcastle. I will pick up those passengers and deliver them to York in record time!

The light turns green.

How the devil do I get this thing moving?

I realise I probably should have played the tutorial. I have no idea what any of these buttons do. I start pushing buttons and thrusting knobs. I have the red one at 100%. I toot the horn (I enjoy this so much I do it twice). I go through all the camera options. I open and close the doors. The train remains immobile.

Eventually I discover that while it’s great to have the engines at full, it’s not so great if the brakes are also on. I release them, and the train moves forward at a remarkably gentle pace.

Despite this mess of railway tracks, the game knows where to take me. I love it when making choices is taken away from me in video games. I can still hit the brake, game (really, I know which one that is now) and ruin this whole experience.

But I can’t, for when I pull up to the station and open the doors (I also know that button now) I get a message.

Make up the time? Gentlemen, you clearly don’t realise the driver you’ve hired. Set throttle to full (I know that one too!)

An Inkling I Can Paint: Part One

 Several months ago I decided to give an attempt at painting. I bought a watercolour set and made a brief attempt at using it. It did not work out, and I locked it away (well, hid it at the back of a shelf) until a week ago.

  In need of a distraction, and wishing to expand some skills, I dug it out again and began fooling around. I rather enjoyed it all, and so spent much of my spare time trying to get the hang of it. As such, most of my pictures were less 'try to paint well' and more 'learn to bloody paint'.

 This one started it, and it's not even a painting. I just got very drunk, grabbed a brush and my indian ink pot and started doodling. In the end the response was deserved - completely misinterpreted. It was well liked, but I think most people believe he's holding a sword. It's supposed to be a cane.

I sobered up for the rest.

The eyes are terrifying. They're both wrong and they're both looking the wrong way. However this was my first attempt at drawing someone, and it was an attempt at drawing someone without pre-sketching or preparation. I just started painting with brush and ink, and I think it came out fairly well, given the subject matter.

Wuv to Greg.

  Bloody simple stuff, but I liked them and it gave me a bit of confidence in using watercolours.

  For a tabletop role-playing game I'm doing. I felt like painting my character as I felt that it would give me a bit more insight and a bit more thought into him. It worked. May have altered my perception of how I originally thought of the character, but still, he's visualised: Miromoto Isoroku.

  For faults: swords are wrong but I don't mind that. Blotchiness on the colours was poor form on my part - you need to be careful with brushstrokes, it seems. And it is probably bloody obvious to all, but you start with lighter colours first, then dark. Not the other way round.

Hmph.

  A progression of images. I like the second and fifth ones best. After the third picture I got scared and had to hide the watercolours away a bit, I did the same after the sixth. I can do more but I think it might be best I just leave it and start again.

  They're not spectacular, but they helped give me a bit of help into how to mix colours. Given the original subject matter, all colours are completely wrong and I could do better - I cannot do her justice.  I am still pretty bloody happy with how this came out as a first-week effort.

  And a last pair. Just randomly drawn with indian ink. Neither looks right, but I like the use of ink as a painting tool. It came out of nowhere, it shall be used in future.